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mitch222
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#121 Posted : Wednesday, 2 March 2011 9:53:53 PM(UTC)
i thought this was supposed to be a jokes forum Doubt

I hate it when my girlfriend wears her NSW Jersey to bed. It's her subtle way of saying that there won't be any scoring tonight.

They know its gonna be another night without scorings

Did you hear that the Post Office has had to recall their latest stamps?

They had pictures of NSW players on them. People couldn't figure out which side to spit on


Four surgeons are taking a coffee break.

The first one says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside them is numbered."

The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded."

The fourth one says, "I prefer NSW fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and arses are interchangeable."


Woman: "Doctor, Doctor, my ****** keeps shouting, "Go NSW!" over and over again and it won't stop.

Doctor: "Yes, there has been a lot of c.unts saying that lately"

The NSW last training session was interrupted today when a suspicious white powder was found.
After officials were called and testing was undergone, it was found the white powder was off the tryline.
Training was resumed when it was decided that no New South Welshman would go anywhere near this substance.

A seven year old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.
The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the New South Wales State of Origin team, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.


Three guys a Tasmanian, a Queenslander and a New South Welshman are out walking along the beach together one day.
They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total", says the genie.
The Tasmanian says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad's a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity."
With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' the oceans were teaming with fish.
The Queenslander was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around
Queensland, so that we can run our own State how we feel, and no hippie southerner can tell us what to do. I want it so nothing and no-one will get in for all eternity."
Again, with a blink of the genie's eye, '****' there was a huge wall around Queensland.
The New South Welshman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."
The genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out."
The New South Welshman says, "Fill it up with water."


A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a NSW State of Origin fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are NSWState of Origin fans too.
Not really knowing what a NSW State of Origin fan was, but wanting to beliked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air.
There is, however, one exception.. Janet has not gone along with thecrowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
"Because I'm not a NSW State of Origin fan," she answers.
"Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"
I'm a QLD State of Origin fan" boasts the little girl.
The teacher asks Janet why she is a QLD State of Origin fan.
"Well, my Dad and Mum are QLD State of Origin fans, so I'm a QLD Stateof Origin fan too" she responds.
"That's no reason," the teacher says. "What if your mum was a moron and your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?"
Janet smiles and says, "Then I'd be a NSW State of Origin fan"

What does N.S.W stand for? No Series Win!

McFlavour
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#122 Posted : Wednesday, 2 March 2011 10:18:11 PM(UTC)
Q: What do you call a world class NSW rugby league player?

A: Long retired.
McFlavour
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#123 Posted : Wednesday, 2 March 2011 10:19:22 PM(UTC)
A Bulldogs player bought a girls virginity on eBay for $10,000.

Unfortunately for her, 10 of his team-mates chipped in.
McFlogchops
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#124 Posted : Wednesday, 2 March 2011 10:21:28 PM(UTC)
How many Bronco players does it take to bang a chick in a cubicle?

3, with one of them holding the camera
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#125 Posted : Wednesday, 2 March 2011 10:28:43 PM(UTC)
How many Sharks players does it take to bang a chick in an NZ hotel room?

12, with 8 of them holding their dicks whilst looking at their naked mates.



How many Dogs players does it take to bang a chick by a pool in Coffs Harbour?

10, with three of them holding her down.

Edited by user Wednesday, 2 March 2011 10:48:08 PM(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

McFlavour
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#126 Posted : Wednesday, 2 March 2011 10:40:40 PM(UTC)
In an attempt to salvage his reputation and get some positive PR, Todd Carney visited a group of kids at the NSW Society for the Visually Impaired (NSWSVI).

"How do you cope with being blind every day?" ... asked the children ...
champion_man User is suspended until 23/10/2072 10:17:09 PM(UTC)
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#127 Posted : Wednesday, 2 March 2011 10:55:56 PM(UTC)
McFlavour wrote:
How many Sharks players does it take to bang a chick in an NZ hotel room?

12, with 8 of them holding their dicks whilst looking at their naked mates.



How many Dogs players does it take to bang a chick by a pool in Coffs Harbour?

10, with three of them holding her down.


How is this a joke?
McFlavour
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#128 Posted : Wednesday, 2 March 2011 10:57:37 PM(UTC)
champion_man wrote:
How is this a joke?


Out of context, its not.

Smart people would see its the retaliatory wordplay with McFlogchops post that is the joke.

Naturally, I wouldn't expect you to see it.
McFlavour
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#129 Posted : Wednesday, 2 March 2011 10:58:31 PM(UTC)
Q: What do you get if you cross Ian Lacey and John Te Reo?

A: Bashed.
champion_man User is suspended until 23/10/2072 10:17:09 PM(UTC)
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#130 Posted : Wednesday, 2 March 2011 10:59:30 PM(UTC)
McFlavour wrote:
Out of context, its not.

Smart people would see its the retaliatory wordplay with McFlogchops post that is the joke.

Naturally, I wouldn't expect you to see it.


You, Raffa and McFloggy are the same as our politicians. Its a race to the bottom.
McFlogchops
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#131 Posted : Wednesday, 2 March 2011 11:02:16 PM(UTC)
champion_man wrote:
You, Raffa and McFloggy are the same as our politicians. Its a race to the bottom.

Dont paint me with the same brush as the other two. Crickey.
If anyone out of us is a politician, it is you. You never keep your word Laughing
McFlogchops
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#132 Posted : Wednesday, 2 March 2011 11:03:55 PM(UTC)
McFlavour wrote:
Out of context, its not.

Smart people would see its the retaliatory wordplay with McFlogchops post that is the joke.

Naturally, I wouldn't expect you to see it.

the same smart people will look at the post above mine in which you decided to joke about that sort of stuff
McFlavour
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#133 Posted : Wednesday, 2 March 2011 11:13:35 PM(UTC)
McFlogchops wrote:
the same smart people will look at the post above mine in which you decided to joke about that sort of stuff


I don't have an issue with your subject matter (aside from the obvious factual confusion you have between consensual sex and rape).

I was just riffing on yours.

As I said before, there is no topic that's off limits. As long as its funny.

Raffa's problem is that there isn't a joke in posting a picture of a bloke in a stretcher. It's not clever. It's not funny. Its just not humour.

Edited by user Wednesday, 2 March 2011 11:14:33 PM(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

McFlogchops
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#134 Posted : Wednesday, 2 March 2011 11:18:59 PM(UTC)
McFlavour wrote:
I don't have an issue with your subject matter (aside from the obvious factual confusion you have between consensual sex and rape).

I was just riffing on yours.

As I said before, there is no topic that's off limits. As long as its funny.

Raffa's problem is that there isn't a joke in posting a picture of a bloke in a stretcher. It's not clever. It's not funny. Its just not humour.

I said bang a chick, not rape Very Happy

I agree with what you have said though.
broncos/liverpool
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#135 Posted : Wednesday, 2 March 2011 11:30:40 PM(UTC)
lets keep this clean fellas.
Caity
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#136 Posted : Wednesday, 2 March 2011 11:31:37 PM(UTC)
DellaZ wrote:
GEY
RETARDED
SOOK

i laughed lol
DellaZ
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#137 Posted : Thursday, 3 March 2011 1:33:27 AM(UTC)
Caity wrote:
i laughed lol


thx 4 the quote, it needed to be shown again Very Happy
ratm
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#138 Posted : Thursday, 3 March 2011 4:21:03 AM(UTC)
champion_man wrote:
How is this a joke?
It's funny if you don't follow one of the teams mentioned.Neutral
Inqui
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#139 Posted : Thursday, 3 March 2011 6:33:02 AM(UTC)
McFlavour wrote:
A Bulldogs player bought a girls virginity on eBay for $10,000.

Unfortunately for her, 10 of his team-mates chipped in.

Laughing

A guy rubs a lamp and the mandatory genie emerges. "I can grant you one wish" he says.

The guy's pretty happy about this, so he says "I want to live forever!" To which the genie answers "Sorry, can't do that."
Unperturbed, the guy tries again "In that case, I want to die when NSW next wins an Origin series." The genie replies "Cheeky bugger..."
Forward Pass
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#140 Posted : Thursday, 3 March 2011 6:48:41 AM(UTC)
There are some pretty funny jokes here. I have to say. McFlav and McFlog are some funny f**kers
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